A friend of mine sent me this link this morning: http://chrystalevanshurst.com/051-squeeze-into-those-skinny-jeans/
And there was the phrase in there thats been haunting me for years...
"Because we all need to get comfortable with being uncomfortable."
This is something that I tend to gloss over, I refuse to face the reality that the uncomfortable exists.
the uncomfortable is 'unCONFRONTable' to me. Yes, i made that word up, i think. I don't want to confront the issues that make me uncomfortable. While i don't think i am alone in this struggle, it is a hard pill to swallow for me.
Recently i pushed someone to speak their mind about their feelings. I knew it would be hard for them, for me? it was harder still. mainly because i wanted them to confront the feelings they had towards me. i knew it would not be pleasant to hear but i needed to know. After all was said and done, we are now working on rebuilding a relationship.
I am so glad they were flexible to finally speak however, i am the first one to admit, i did not confront my feelings during that "conversation." yes, i know. that was very hypocritical of me but to tell the truth, i was so drained from just being a part of the conversation that i didnt want to continue the 'experience'
and then i read this today. i realize that what i did to this person is what i need to do to myself. i need to be ok with not being ok in front of others and most importantly in front of God.
God doesnt need me to tell him anything but He wants to know and thats only driven by his love for me. So i am sitting here and thinking how i dont reciprocate the love when i hold back. That makes me think of my phrase and then it makes me think of how God doesnt stop pursuing me even when i sut the door.
Father, i am humbled that you love me when i am unlovable and that you comfort me when i am unconfrontable. Thank you.
Love God and the rest will follow...
And there was the phrase in there thats been haunting me for years...
"Because we all need to get comfortable with being uncomfortable."
This is something that I tend to gloss over, I refuse to face the reality that the uncomfortable exists.
the uncomfortable is 'unCONFRONTable' to me. Yes, i made that word up, i think. I don't want to confront the issues that make me uncomfortable. While i don't think i am alone in this struggle, it is a hard pill to swallow for me.
Recently i pushed someone to speak their mind about their feelings. I knew it would be hard for them, for me? it was harder still. mainly because i wanted them to confront the feelings they had towards me. i knew it would not be pleasant to hear but i needed to know. After all was said and done, we are now working on rebuilding a relationship.
I am so glad they were flexible to finally speak however, i am the first one to admit, i did not confront my feelings during that "conversation." yes, i know. that was very hypocritical of me but to tell the truth, i was so drained from just being a part of the conversation that i didnt want to continue the 'experience'
and then i read this today. i realize that what i did to this person is what i need to do to myself. i need to be ok with not being ok in front of others and most importantly in front of God.
God doesnt need me to tell him anything but He wants to know and thats only driven by his love for me. So i am sitting here and thinking how i dont reciprocate the love when i hold back. That makes me think of my phrase and then it makes me think of how God doesnt stop pursuing me even when i sut the door.
Father, i am humbled that you love me when i am unlovable and that you comfort me when i am unconfrontable. Thank you.
Love God and the rest will follow...
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