so its the last day of the year... what a year this has been... coming into this year i was in a BAD place...leaving this year i am in an apathetic way... in the middle there were MANY ups and downs BUTTTTT i am ending it up with a "who cares anyway?" SIGH... i started a "new" job, i traveled a hella lot more than i expected. i closed a chapter in my book with a week of tears. i have actually worked on a few personal projects intentionally in the last few months. i finished more books this year than ever before becasue of all the traveling. i have laughed whole heartedly, i have cried whole heartedly. the pain of losing certain people in my life is still fresh and i wonder if i will ever be able to think of them without tearing up. a friend of mine gave birth to her second child, another friend is walking down the aisle in the next few days. all these milestones, joyous i am able to celebrate with them. praising God i am able to walk and talk, things i have taken for granted. so its the last day of the year... what a year this has been...going into this coming year i am apathetic...leaving this year i hope i feel something...

love God and the rest will follow

i have been traveling quite a bit lately. i am loving every moment of it. was just recently in annapolis, md!  walked by the naval academy. it snowed. it was  good!  read a book recently that i've owned for a year or so. finally got around to it. was never in the mood, until recently. i've read quite a few books. fun! as much fun as i try to inject into my life just so i can stay positive, i feel there are events in my life, people in my life whom i allow to drain me. i can blame only myself for i am the one who gives them the power to affect me in this way. 

every day is a battle, with my self and with the world. to stay positive. to block out negativity. to make light of events. to shut out people who thrive on my sadness. to listen to music. to cry.t laugh. to smile. to hug someone. to read a good book. to work on my own book. to just be.  to talk to GOD. but most of all to just listen. to be quiet. to tune out. to listen.

every moment is a battle to JUST breathe.

love God, love yourself and love one another!