Easiest of times...hardest of times

Havent blogged in a while.  The way my life is going, you would think i would do it every day.

I have gone into a holding pattern mode. I don't care about anything anymore. Nothing matters,  I am happy but for a fleeting moment and I am sad for the same.

God has done good things for me that I can't explain and I have had to endure some shady times that I can't explain. I feel like Solomon "meaningless meaningless everything is meaningless"

Then I went to a prayer service and the pastor was talking about Abram and how he didn't know where he was going and he still went. He went because he believed God. I felt like God saying "don't you give up on me now, I never gave up on you."  I felt the wind knocked out of me. That is the truth, is it not?

God has never given up on me. Therefore just because I can't see where He is taking me right now, doesn't mean I give up.

Love God and the rest will follow.

Summer/Fall

Well summer is coming to an end.

That phrase is true for my physical location and also for my life. I was in a nice place for a few months. GOD allowed a season of summer months, things were good all around. It looked like I could pay off some debts from the last few winters but then it suddenly switched to fall.

Weather wise this was a mild summer and we are already looking at fall, which is hard to be ok with in some senses.  In my life I feel the same way.  Its hard to be ok with it but when you live for Jesus, you learn to be ok.  You learn to lean on  Jesus. You learn.

All the time, you learn.

Love God and the rest will follow.

It will follow, in due course.

Spring

This spring,  a new boss was brought into my life.  He is high energy and absolutely the opposite of my most recent boss. YAY!

As this season blooms in and outside my workplace, I am reminded that we go through seasons in our lives as well.  Our lives,  Our work lives and our relationships all go through seasons.

Change is all around us and we have to remember that only God is constant.   His wOrd, His promises and His mercy are constant.

So just a quick note to remind all of us...

Love God and the rest will follow!

Balance

Several religions speak of the world being balanced, the people need to be balanced, the difference in good and bad karma or vibes that you put into the universe. Its important to always stay "centered" it was even covered in a Boy Meets World episode.  It's all fine and dandy but am I left in charge of making sure that everything is balanced?

I sure hope not!

I cant even balance out the level of how much honey I need in my green tea everyday.

Last week was  leaning pretty heavily towards negative, filled with criticism and just plain harsh.  However in a matter of hours, my outlook changed. Why? Because thankfully I am not in charge of balancing the universe.

My Jesus took care of me.

I was reminded that there are people who belong to my eternal family who matter so much more than the others. And while my heart yearns for all to come to know my loving and just Jesus, I also have to be aware that not every sentiment  from the non-believers should be taken so seriously.

He also brought happiness and laughter back into my week. I stand amazed at the love, care and prayers.  And now, I begin this week with a different attitude.

Love God and the rest will follow.

Be careful...

I am sitting in a cafe staring into the city I have loved since I was 13.

Daughtry's 'home' is playing.

Then it switches to 6th avenue heartache by The Wallflowers.  It dawns on me... I am sitting on 6 1/2 avenue and my heart aches right now.

I know I know... emo.

But you see my heart doesn't ache because someone broke it (that was last month.)  My heart breaks because sin overtook my pastor. My pastor of over 10 yrs, chose sin over Jesus and then he had to step down because the sin separated him from God.

They took him away in all mediums: media and otherwise.  It almost feels like he never existed.  But he did exist! I can hear him in my head. I can see him when I pray for him. I know that he will never return as the senior pastor but i know he can use this experience to minister to folks.

But that's not on the horizon yet. He has to be restored,  his family has to be restored.  His relationships have to be restored.

I think of the song 'amazed' by Lonestar.  Its not about God but in this moment,  it is to me.  GOD IS ALREADY THERE! He is in the situation,  He is with my pastor, the family and like my pastor used to say 'look up to Jesus not any man.'

Love God and the rest will follow!

Work

Colossians 3:23-24 NIV

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

What a gReat  reminder as I am getting ready to  go to work.

Precious Moments

A friend of mine, a very dear friend, said her marriage vows today.  I was unable to be there for the blessed event but my heart and prayers were there.

Another friend lost the love of her life to a a car accident caused by a random fool who decided to drive on the wrong side of the highway.

Another friend buried a best friend who was riding his motorcycle just as he had thousands of times before but this time, it was his last.

As a believer in an Almighty God, I am inclined to lean on the principle that nothing happens unless God deems it necessary for building you up.

Yesterday I got an email from one of my friends who was trying to explain recent events and he made an observation that without the death of something,  we wouldn't ever appreciate the life around us.  He ended it with "because of death, we have life"

Now he isn't a believer of Jesus but of course I was reminded of the Gospel. Jesus' death gives me life, life eternal.  In the death of a caterpillar comes the life of a butterfly.  In the death of our old selves, comes the opportunity to be a new being in Jesus Christ.

Sometimes I just can't wrap my head around who, what, when and why. In each of the moments that my friends experienced, there's something that needed to die for something to come alive.  Precious moments can be happy or sad, as long as we see the lessons, its always worth it.  My friend's wedding was not planned by any of us. Something inside her needed to die, it was her plans, her idols and when they did, God gave her life. A life only he could plan out so perfectly for His kingdom.

As for the other two, if it hasn't been revealed yet, it will be revealed in time.  Life will spring forth from the death.  My faithful God will show up, I know it.

If it wasn't for darkness,  we wouldn't know the need for light. If it weren't for winters,  we wouldn't know the need for heat/summer/the sun. If it weren't for sin, we wouldn't have known the greatest need of all, A SAVIOR.

In some mixed up yet straight forward way, God always makes his point.

Love God and the rest will follow!

Snow

Theres been a lot of snow lately.

Its been good and bad as all things are in this world.  Two sides, two faces, two opinions.

I was talking to my sister and saying how snow is gorgeous as it falls but once it touches the ground, its over.  I compared it to sinning and she said 'preach it!' Haha soooo I will...

While we are sinning, its calming our desires, its gorgeous, its fun, it seems worthwhile. Watching snow fall from the sky is oddly calming, its gorgeous, it's fun, etc.  The thing with snow is that after it has fallen, it mixes with the dirt,  it turns colors,  when dogs or homeless people pee on it, it turns yellow. Its especially a mess when its melting because then you get SLUSH.  Sin is the same way.  After the initial high,  you feel like scum, dirty,  you change,  it changes. Its especially messy when you are in between, you live a life in a slushy mess.

You know what's interesting, when the new snow falls,  it covers up the old snowy mess.  So when you walk on the new snow,  you never know what you are stepping on/in. Same thing with sin.  New sins can be used to cover up the old ones,  but the mess is still there.  If you just keep walking as if nothing is wrong,  you never know when you might fall or even how deep.

Here's the most interesting part,  in order for snow to stick, you need a layer on ice to form first.  With sin,  you need to essentially do the same.   You have to turn off all possible ways of talking yourself out of committing the sin.  You have to basically create a frozen foundation on which to stand.

Guess who can crack this frozen foundation?? You know it!

JESUS♥

You guys knew I was gonna say that.  The thing is you can't just let Jesus move the sin over to the side, He has to be able to dig in with the shovel and crack the ice, this will ensure that the next time it snows, there's no chance of it sticking. We will all be tempted to sin, tempted to want to watch the snow fall but that doesn't mean we have to give in.

The shoveling is hard work, it hurts but if it's done right, it's worth it.

Love God and the rest will follow.

A carnal Christian...

I was told that I was a carnal Christian for liking football.  

I have been looked at with a raised eyebrow before for liking football or basketball.  It's mostly because guys find it odd/unbelievable that a girl could like it as much as I do.  I actually like pretty much any kind of sport, I will pick a side and root for it.  *racing horses and dogs is NOT sport*

I like watching humans push physical limits. I know I couldn't run as fast or jump as high so it fascinates me.  IT intrigues me. But it will never replace the Truth of what my Jesus did for me and you on Cross of Calvary.

However, I don't like the monetary aspect of sports.  I don't support players getting paid exorbitant amounts of cash. I dont like the ticket prices, the ridiculously priced gear or that athletes can get away with most things as long as they have money.  I dont like people making money off of others. I don't like that it encourages/opens up the world of prostitution,  drug use and violence to the athletes and their families. You should play for the love of the game.

Respect is earned.

My Jesus is the only one who has given His life for me and He did it because He loves me.  I know my worth and I live each day to try and honor Him.  No one else will replace my Jesus, my GOD,  my saviour!

I know the difference and I know what's on a pedestal in my life and what isn't. Therefore I resent being called a carnal Christian for enjoying a sporting event.

I guess this time I have to remind myself...

Love God and the rest will follow.

Another year in paradise?

Nah... from it actually.

At least this is not my version of paradise,  it's not what i would write for my characters.  Of course my first thoughts paradise are painted in by images from the movie with Robin Williams where he goes looking for his wife.  Then its corrected by images from the writer's description in the book of revelation in The Bible.

This  earth is far from either of these.

Change is never easy even when I make the choice to change.  In the last six months, things have changed without my permission  and as a control freak,  that is not  OK.  As someone trying to rely on God, that is OK.

My work situation is ever changing to keep up.  My health is ever challenging to understand. In all things, I am drawn to learn the same lesson, PATIENCE.

GOD gave me a verse for 2014. Isaiah 43:19. It's the streams in the dry place verse and I was shown it twice on new years day.  So this year, no matter how I feel about any situation,  I know he is working on making streams in the dry places.

Love God and the rest will follow!