I had someone recently just gush about their state of mind considering the fact that they were saved. That God in His infinite MERCY and GRACE chose this individual. And i thought to myself, well you have a reason/purpose on this earth.

But in this case, thats not it... She had this smile on her face, she was in awe. the words of my pastor at CCO rang in my ears. "Don't ever forget the awe and wonder of our Lord!" I get so complacent with our Lord. I ask, He does His will, I pray, He does His will, my life goes on.

Sometimes, I miss the days when I was just in awe of the fact that His grace rescued me from the pit of hell...

I wonder if people around me ever wonder about that. Do you think that your life now will lead to anything in the eternal? Where are you ending up if you took your last breath right now? Will you find yourself in the presence of the Almighty? or in Hades?

My aunt passed away this week and while my celebrating hat has been retired for this year, I am reminded that this life we live now is but a mere dress rehearsal of what is to come. Where she ended up for eternity is between her and the Lord. I cant sway him either way. Only her life and her choices will deem her fate. The same is true for all of us. In the end, its between each one of us and our Maker.

The Lord has extended his arms out to you. He has sent his ONLY SON to this world. Jesus gave His life for your sins. NOW ITS ON YOU!

Tell yourself what you may, but living in sin will not just go away or stop. You must consciously decide to WALK THE OTHER WAY! REPENT!

Love God and the rest will follow...

p.s.

please continue to pray for my brother and his choices in life. Only God truly knows...

"I died in you..." -E.I.

I heard this line in a song this morning and it sent me for a spin! All these thoughts, memories and most of all the unresolved feelings and dreams came rushing back. I spent about 2 hours just thinking... pondering... contemplating... imagining life if i had not died inside that many years ago. To be healed, we have to walk through the pain, all these years, i think i just masked the pain behind life in general and today it all came apart. not a good time at all but all too necessary so that it is possible for me to walk away and leave it all in the past. will it happen over night? highly unlikely...

While I processed through the pain, i realized...

I LIVE IN CHRIST!

I...

LIVE!

The KING of KINGS and His Son gave me life eternal. I just wanna put it out there for anyone struggling with pain of any kind.

heartbreak?

someone close to you passing away unexpectedly??

dreams not coming true?

life coming apart at the seams?

Jesus can heal, restore and give purpose to our otherwise mundane and pain-filled life. He carries the pain and puts the burden on Himself and sets us FREE!

and that my friend is how

I!

LIVE!

IN!

CHRIST!

Love God and the rest will follow...

This weekend will go down in history as one of the hardest... the amount of people who got hitched/engaged/announced babies on my FB was ridiculous! I am happy and ecstatic for all these people and their life paths. I truly am...

BUT I kept doubting all weekend if what I was doing this whole time even made any sense? waiting? for what? and when is it coming? then yesterday one of the gals from IPC orlando posted the anthony evan song "wait" on her FB and i kinda snickered it away... didnt click on the link or anything.

I know what you are thinking...when is she gonna get it? if she would just trust and hold on it would happen... i am not lying when i say it seems to be getting harder than easier to hold on. i tried getting plugged in (i went to a bible study at church for singles and everyone there was at least 50 yrs older than me! that gave me a glimpse into my future of utter loneliness..FUNNNNNN!) i tried focusing my energy on the Word and while its been exciting to actually feel like i care about what the Bible says I still find myself during the day wondering if any of this matters.

So i woke up this morning and I checked my Verse of the day as usual and it was Psalm 27:14

"Today's Verse

Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

— Psalm 27:14 (NIV)

Thoughts on Today's Verse...

If there is anything we don't like to do, it's wait. Maybe that is why God is so interested in us learning to do it! There is something purifying about remaining strong in tough times and remaining faithful when ill winds blow. So God gives us times of waiting to see if our search is really for him or merely for something new or easy.

My Prayer...

Loving Father, I know you have waited for me so many times -- for me to show my faith, repent of my sins, grow in holiness, come to you in prayer, act more mature, give to those who cannot return my care ... Help me as I wait for you to show me the way with my decisions, to act to relieve my need, and to reveal your presence in my loneliness. I really do seek you with all my heart. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen."

-verseoftheday.com

Now I am out of my skin/my element/and in tears again. I am not sure... I have listened to that "wait" song twice already...

Last week this time I was experiencing the effects of my concussion. Look at me now... unaware? ungrateful for the restoration? NO! i am completely aware that it was an act of mercy and grace that I am able to sit here yet in that awareness I am on shaky ground about my allegiance to HIM and HIS plan. I am so tired of the ups and downs... I am so tired... Please pray for me...

I want my life to be about something more than just falling in love and marriage and children. although i desperately want those things I want to want HIM more :(

Love God and the rest will follow

the rest...

will follow...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tuf1HJLVzPU&feature=related