This weekend will go down in history as one of the hardest... the amount of people who got hitched/engaged/announced babies on my FB was ridiculous! I am happy and ecstatic for all these people and their life paths. I truly am...

BUT I kept doubting all weekend if what I was doing this whole time even made any sense? waiting? for what? and when is it coming? then yesterday one of the gals from IPC orlando posted the anthony evan song "wait" on her FB and i kinda snickered it away... didnt click on the link or anything.

I know what you are thinking...when is she gonna get it? if she would just trust and hold on it would happen... i am not lying when i say it seems to be getting harder than easier to hold on. i tried getting plugged in (i went to a bible study at church for singles and everyone there was at least 50 yrs older than me! that gave me a glimpse into my future of utter loneliness..FUNNNNNN!) i tried focusing my energy on the Word and while its been exciting to actually feel like i care about what the Bible says I still find myself during the day wondering if any of this matters.

So i woke up this morning and I checked my Verse of the day as usual and it was Psalm 27:14

"Today's Verse

Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

— Psalm 27:14 (NIV)

Thoughts on Today's Verse...

If there is anything we don't like to do, it's wait. Maybe that is why God is so interested in us learning to do it! There is something purifying about remaining strong in tough times and remaining faithful when ill winds blow. So God gives us times of waiting to see if our search is really for him or merely for something new or easy.

My Prayer...

Loving Father, I know you have waited for me so many times -- for me to show my faith, repent of my sins, grow in holiness, come to you in prayer, act more mature, give to those who cannot return my care ... Help me as I wait for you to show me the way with my decisions, to act to relieve my need, and to reveal your presence in my loneliness. I really do seek you with all my heart. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen."

-verseoftheday.com

Now I am out of my skin/my element/and in tears again. I am not sure... I have listened to that "wait" song twice already...

Last week this time I was experiencing the effects of my concussion. Look at me now... unaware? ungrateful for the restoration? NO! i am completely aware that it was an act of mercy and grace that I am able to sit here yet in that awareness I am on shaky ground about my allegiance to HIM and HIS plan. I am so tired of the ups and downs... I am so tired... Please pray for me...

I want my life to be about something more than just falling in love and marriage and children. although i desperately want those things I want to want HIM more :(

Love God and the rest will follow

the rest...

will follow...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tuf1HJLVzPU&feature=related