Its been a while. A friend asked me the other day when I had blogged last and sadly I couldn't recall the date. That made it clear that I had to blog ASAP. Of course that was like 3 weeks ago. BUTTTT i finally made it here.

I am close to completing my work at UCF. I am 2 weeks away from completing all the work. 3 weeks away from officially graduating. sigh! last time i ran away from being responsible, this time i am so confused as to what i should do. part of me just wants to go back home to my folks and friends and what not BUT the other part wants to stay here.

I hate living "alone" anyone who has been around me long enough knows that. even being in the same apt with my brother still feels like i live alone because we never hang out. There are so many factors at play here that I am not sure if i am coming or going half the time. ALL this being said, God is still in control and on the throne! I know He is working out a master plan and I will wait patiently for what He has in store.

Vishwasa has been a fun blessing to me. All these youngens give me hope that there are some good people left in this world. To see their struggles saddens me but I know that if/when they come out of these trials, they will be that much stronger against the enemy. I just wanna shout to them to hold on and not to run away from God's plan for them. I know in my heat of hearts they have to fight it on their own. They have to see God working for/with/in them. They also have to see how the enemy is/will continue to attack them. Only they can learn the lessons, I can learn it for them. I pray that God is more prevalent in their lives than the enemy so that they can grow stronger against the enemy.

In the last month or two, I had some visitors. One from Jersey and one from Weston. Times spent with them have made summer fly by and i loved all of it. I also was able to take a road trip out to NOLA. We had the best people taking care of us, the pastor and his wife cant be beat. (can i get another burger with a side of mac-n-cheese pllllllease!) Memories to last a lifetime with my walkie talkie buddy/bff from college/sister in Christ! Love ya maverick! July 4th weekend and my buddy Gabriella!! Good times all around!

In all this I grew. My time in NOLA showed me how lost people are in this world. Soothsayers, tarot card readers and fortune tellers surrounded the courtyard of a church and it blew my mind. I was surrounded by vodoo shops and my gut shivered. I felt something in my soul when one of them stared me in the eye. These experiences showed me that this world isnt just what i deal with on a daily basis. Its so much more than that. I heard a testimony of a friend who joined other Christians who decided to "visit" during mardi gras. The experience of meeting God blew my mind but then hearing of the stories of meeting other spirits threw me off my axis altogether. The world we live in is not our own, friends.

I know I probably sound like a crazy woman but the thing is I have seen and experienced things in the recent months that can not be explained and/or ignored.

I want you all to know that ONLY GOD CAN KEEP YOUR SOUL SAFE. Only He knows who/what/when/where to battle the spirits and I promise you that if/when you tap into that world it is not something to tread lightly about. I do pray that all of you will come to see the promises of love and safety that God provides.

Also as a Christian family, my family at home found themselves in prayer for a baby's life. My IV and Vishwasa family here joined in as well. God has stayed true to who He is and blessed us through the trial. Please pray for this baby to continue to gain weight and grow strong after her surgery. Once again I have learned that He is in control and all is done for His glory!

Love God and the rest will follow...




p.s.
my prayer for my brother continues. God has shown favor on his life and saved him from injury during a recent car crash. My prayer is that my brother doesnt ignore the value in this. The prayer continues for him to find his TRUE self and that he finds his identity in God and not in people around him. I claim him/his life for Christ and will wait for the Lord!

Today on verseoftheday.com was
Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. - Ephesians 6:10-11 (NIV)

In the show How I Met Your Mother, the character Barney always says "suit up!" Right before he goes out on any of his "all important dates" Everyone cracks up when he says it. For a while I did it too. Barney means that a guy must put on the best suit he has and of course everything that goes with it so that he may make that perfect impression on the woman of his choice.

Interestingly "suit up!" can be applied to Christians as well. We are to put on a suit of armor that the Lord has provided before we go out into the world everyday. The belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the sandals of peace, the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation, and of course the sword of the spirit (the Word of God.)

Wherever we go, we are to wear our sandals of peace and not strife. Wearing the breastplate of righteousness makes sure of the fact that we will be truthful and righteous towards everyone we deal with in our path. The belt of truth makes sure that we are truthful thus making sure that our righteousness is not ruined. All of this is possible of course because we are wearing a helmet of salvation. Since we are saved, we know that our paths are different from someone who is not saved. Now the shield and the sword of course are for the war that the enemy who will attack. He attacks all the time and with anything he can. As believers, we are hopeful to be able to stand up to any and all attacks. The truth of the matter is that we are still human and we fall.

When we fall, its the armor that saves us from getting "hurt." We must be careful not to lose faith. God makes promises that we are to hang on to. Above all we must rely on the fact that God is the only one who does not lie, cheat or steal. God is peace, righteousness, salvation, the truth, and faith. God is love! God is reliable! God is... well... God!

Love God and the rest will follow!

I finally took a trip that I had been dreaming about for many years! My family and I went to the west coast. A family friend was getting married and so we planned a trip around that. This trip came together on moment by moment basis. While I thought this would bring my family closer, it might not have done that. In fact it might have pushed us all into our corners a little bit more. Sad! I know! but there must be a pain before the gain right? Something has happened in my family, that i thought we were immune to. We became dysfunctional. I never thought that would happen to us!!! Sadly, in the ignorance of thinking that we would always stay the same happy go lucky family, I lost my brother.

I lost my relationship, my friendship with my best friend! We have turned into acquaintances who speak only if we have to do so. In his journey to finding himself, i lost him. How ironic! He has found this group of people that he "does life with," whatever that means. His family is playing second string right now because in the last 4-5 years that transition occurred and none of us caught it. I will always love my brother, of course, but i dont know him anymore. These people take up his whole life and something feels wrong about it.

I have a distinct feeling that something else is going on in his life. I have no idea what it is, but I saw this online and it reminded me that as long as I pray to my God, i have HOPE!




So thats that my friends, I resolve to fight for my brother, no matter what it takes! no matter how much anger i feel, i hope to push it aside and pray for him. i ask that you pray for me in this fight. every time i feel like i am losing, i retreat and i know i cant retreat anymore. the enemy has beaten me down many times. i fallen prey to many traps where he has convinced me that i can not do any better than this. BUT I KNOW THE TRUTH AND I KNOW THAT I AM A CONQUEROR IN CHRIST'S LOVE!

i ask that you please pray for a cleansing of mind, body, thoughts for me so that i can focus on fighting for my brother. i need him to see that family is what sticks. i want him to see that family is who you "do life with." most of all i want him to see that doing good works will not make him a Christian but that recognizing sins and fighting with faith and submitting to God is how you show your Christianity. I love my brother and I want him back. I hope that you will join me in praying for him and my whole family as we go through this trial.

Love God and the rest will follow!