wow cant believe that i haven't blogged in 7 months! the last 6 months have been crazy at work. i have been back and forth between 2 centers. "helping out" they call it. i am just thankful i have a job. i have a job where i do what i enjoy. i also, took a class this past semester. with working 50 hrs a week and taking the class i hardly knew that i had hit july. today while watching the fireworks, it hit me. this year is half way done. 2009. wow! 

i also had some health issues. i suppose that helped with the months passing by too.  sigh. God has been awesome. God has been great. God has been there for me through all of it. even when i was angry at all the things going wrong. God was good to me!!

Joshua 1:9 (New International Version)

⁹ Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

1 Corinthians 10:13 (New International Version)

¹³No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

Psalm 37:7 (New International Version)

 ⁷ Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; 
       do not fret when men succeed in their ways, 
       when they carry out their wicked schemes.

the verses that got me through my surgery!! Praise Jesus!

so its the last day of the year... what a year this has been... coming into this year i was in a BAD place...leaving this year i am in an apathetic way... in the middle there were MANY ups and downs BUTTTTT i am ending it up with a "who cares anyway?" SIGH... i started a "new" job, i traveled a hella lot more than i expected. i closed a chapter in my book with a week of tears. i have actually worked on a few personal projects intentionally in the last few months. i finished more books this year than ever before becasue of all the traveling. i have laughed whole heartedly, i have cried whole heartedly. the pain of losing certain people in my life is still fresh and i wonder if i will ever be able to think of them without tearing up. a friend of mine gave birth to her second child, another friend is walking down the aisle in the next few days. all these milestones, joyous i am able to celebrate with them. praising God i am able to walk and talk, things i have taken for granted. so its the last day of the year... what a year this has been...going into this coming year i am apathetic...leaving this year i hope i feel something...

love God and the rest will follow

i have been traveling quite a bit lately. i am loving every moment of it. was just recently in annapolis, md!  walked by the naval academy. it snowed. it was  good!  read a book recently that i've owned for a year or so. finally got around to it. was never in the mood, until recently. i've read quite a few books. fun! as much fun as i try to inject into my life just so i can stay positive, i feel there are events in my life, people in my life whom i allow to drain me. i can blame only myself for i am the one who gives them the power to affect me in this way. 

every day is a battle, with my self and with the world. to stay positive. to block out negativity. to make light of events. to shut out people who thrive on my sadness. to listen to music. to cry.t laugh. to smile. to hug someone. to read a good book. to work on my own book. to just be.  to talk to GOD. but most of all to just listen. to be quiet. to tune out. to listen.

every moment is a battle to JUST breathe.

love God, love yourself and love one another!