When the trust runs out...

I have been thinking about the level of trust and does it ever end its course with certain people?

The phrase "Trust me!" is used and over used if you ask me. If trust has a starting point then it has to have a point when it stops, right?

I dont trust people very easily so maybe this topic is more than just a topic to me.  Where does my distrust for humanity come from?

My childhood involved a lot of "dont talk to anyone,  cant trust people in this country..." because I grew up in a country that was not native to my parents. They were safeguarding their daughter, I get it.

Then the invasion of my childhood home by a crazed man further fueled my distrust of unknown people.

But it threw me for a loop when I moved to America and one of our own native people violated my trust. Ha! Irony, gotta love it.

Then things like 9/11 and most recently the Boston marathon bombing happen and the distrust of people around me continues to grow. Now, everyone could be "the bad guy" and I know I know that a lot of these same folks look at me and think I am not to be trusted.

I know utopia was never truth on Earth and never will be but is it just me or this worse than ever? I mean what's a world where you cant even believe the words that your own sibling is saying to you?

The worst part? I project all this on to God, Jesus and The Holy Spirit.

God is the only one who has sacrificed His own life to show His trust worthiness and I find it hard to trust Him. The worst part? He continues to love me through it all. 

I wake up every morning with the same thought,  "I can't believe You loved me through last night and are letting me see this morning."  He trusts me to lean on Him and proclaim Him so why dont I trust Him back for His plans and His timing? What carries me through even when I dont trust him?

Grace... its His grace that carries me from one distrusting moment to the next.

The truth of the matter is that even in my distrust He shows His trust in me because He can. Because He is God and because well... my other option is eternal damnation and He is merciful enough not to let me go through that.

Will He correct me? Will He redirect my path? Well of course! He is a Just God too! If I was just swimming in grace and mercy I would not know true Love. 

At the end of it all, I put my trust in one thing only and that's God. His provisions, grace, love, justice and mercy!

Sometimes I wonder where is the cut off? When does God say, I dont trust you anymore? Will he say that? Why do I say it all the time? To him or to other people?

If I can stop trusting people, can God stop trusting me? For my sake, I pray I never find out!

Love God and the rest will follow!