I have been taking some classes lately... I am working on my Masters. Why would someone work on a masters for a field that they have never worked in? because this someone believes that one day her God will provide a way for her to use these skills to bring Him glory. I have had many people ask me, what do you see yourself doing with this degree? I, unlike, many others cannot tell you what I see myself using this for. Mainly because I cant bring myself to believe that I will use it for anything.
SIGH
There I said it out loud.
In my heart of hearts, I want to be a mom. which means I need to be a wife. In the conventional world I come from, this is only acceptable path for me to be on in order to achieve my dream. A friend of mine threw caution to the wind and moved 1500 miles to NYC this week. If only I had had that same courage 5 or 6 years ago. I wonder where my life would have been today. Then I remind myself, whatever choice I made or fear I allowed into my being, I cant regret it now. Swallow the pill and live this life that I chose.
SIGH
There I said it out loud.
I am planning on going on a missions trip if the Lord wills it. this trip has been an awakening experience for me already and I haven't gone anywhere yet. A song by Adele was brought to my attention the other day. A song that burned me, made me think of the past, regret snuck in, what ifs snuck in. I let it get the best of me and the last week has been horrendous. To top it off, I found myself yet again in a place ready to take a leap of faith and looked around to find... I was alone... no one wanted to jump with me...again...
SIGH
There I said it out loud.
I allowed my flesh to win... I gave in and made room for my flesh to fight my spirit and the Father of Lies came up from the pit of Hell and beat me senseless. I let him beat me. Then the song You are More came to mind. I am more than all the problems I create...I had to bring that song, those lyrics, that TRUTH that the ALMIGHTY LORD OF ALL thinks I am worth more than all of this pettiness. And that my friends brought me back to where I needed to be in the first place.
SIGH.
There I said it out loud.
LOVE GOD AND THE REST WILL FOLLOW.
SIGH
There I said it out loud.
In my heart of hearts, I want to be a mom. which means I need to be a wife. In the conventional world I come from, this is only acceptable path for me to be on in order to achieve my dream. A friend of mine threw caution to the wind and moved 1500 miles to NYC this week. If only I had had that same courage 5 or 6 years ago. I wonder where my life would have been today. Then I remind myself, whatever choice I made or fear I allowed into my being, I cant regret it now. Swallow the pill and live this life that I chose.
SIGH
There I said it out loud.
I am planning on going on a missions trip if the Lord wills it. this trip has been an awakening experience for me already and I haven't gone anywhere yet. A song by Adele was brought to my attention the other day. A song that burned me, made me think of the past, regret snuck in, what ifs snuck in. I let it get the best of me and the last week has been horrendous. To top it off, I found myself yet again in a place ready to take a leap of faith and looked around to find... I was alone... no one wanted to jump with me...again...
SIGH
There I said it out loud.
I allowed my flesh to win... I gave in and made room for my flesh to fight my spirit and the Father of Lies came up from the pit of Hell and beat me senseless. I let him beat me. Then the song You are More came to mind. I am more than all the problems I create...I had to bring that song, those lyrics, that TRUTH that the ALMIGHTY LORD OF ALL thinks I am worth more than all of this pettiness. And that my friends brought me back to where I needed to be in the first place.
SIGH.
There I said it out loud.
LOVE GOD AND THE REST WILL FOLLOW.
No comments:
Post a Comment