"Get comfortable with being uncomfortable"

A friend of mine sent me this link this morning: http://chrystalevanshurst.com/051-squeeze-into-those-skinny-jeans/

And there was the phrase in there thats been haunting me for years...

"Because we all need to get comfortable with being uncomfortable."

This is something that I tend to gloss over, I refuse to face the reality that the uncomfortable exists.

the uncomfortable is 'unCONFRONTable' to me. Yes, i made that word up, i think.  I don't want to confront the issues that make me uncomfortable.  While i don't think i am alone in this struggle, it is a hard pill to swallow for me.

Recently i pushed someone to speak their mind about their feelings.  I knew it would be hard for them, for me? it was harder still. mainly because i wanted them to confront the feelings they had towards me.  i knew it would not be pleasant to hear but i needed to know.  After all was said and done, we are now working on rebuilding a relationship.

I am so glad they were flexible to finally speak however, i am the first one to admit, i did not confront my feelings during that "conversation." yes, i know. that was very hypocritical of me but to tell the truth, i was so drained from just being a part of the conversation that i didnt want to continue the 'experience'

and then i read this today.  i realize that what i did to this person is what i need to do to myself.  i need to be ok with not being ok in front of others and most importantly in front of God.

God doesnt need me to tell him anything but He wants to know and thats only driven by his love for me.  So i am sitting here and thinking how i dont reciprocate the love when i hold back.  That makes me think of my phrase and then it makes me think of how God doesnt stop pursuing me even when i sut the door.

Father, i am humbled that you love me when i am unlovable and that you comfort me when i am unconfrontable.  Thank you.

Love God and the rest will follow...

Vision and Darkness

Whenever God gives a vision to a Christian, it is as if He puts him in “the shadow of His hand” (Isaiah 49:2). The saint’s duty is to be still and listen. There is a “darkness” that comes from too much light—that is the time to listen. The story of Abram and Hagar in Genesis 16 is an excellent example of listening to so-called good advice during a time of darkness, rather than waiting for God to send the light. When God gives you a vision and darkness follows, wait. God will bring the vision He has given you to reality in your life if you will wait on His timing. Never try to help God fulfill His word. Abram went through thirteen years of silence, but in those years all of his self-sufficiency was destroyed. He grew past the point of relying on his own common sense. Those years of silence were a time of discipline, not a period of God’s displeasure. There is never any need to pretend that your life is filled with joy and confidence; just wait upon God and be grounded in Him (see Isaiah 50:10–11).

Do I trust at all in the flesh? Or have I learned to go beyond all confidence in myself and other people of God? Do I trust in books and prayers or other joys in my life? Or have I placed my confidence in God Himself, not in His blessings? “I am Almighty God . . .” —El-Shaddai, the AllPowerful God (Genesis 17:1). The reason we are all being disciplined is that we will know God is real. As soon as God becomes real to us, people pale by comparison, becoming shadows of reality. Nothing that other saints do or say can ever upset the one who is built on God.

- My Utmost for His Highest devotional from the YouVersion Bible app

Light and dark

This concept is following me around for the last few days.

I have had some thoughts that I have started putting onto paper, then I hear a sermon, then I read a devotional. All in the span of 48hrs and its all about the same concept.

Intrigue

Anyone else think God's got a word for me?

Ha! I love my God. He walks with me in the light and the dark.  There was a line I read that brought tears to my eyes, "I would rather walk with God in darkness than alone in the light."

Do I really believe that? Am I ok with experiencing that? Honestly? No. My initial answer is no, why cant I have God in the light?

Yes, it sounds like utopia but really its more that I am ashamed to have God with me in my dark times. I say and do things in my dark times that I really dont want God to see or know about.

People always say when times are bad, people run to God and when times are good, they forget Him. NOT ME!

I am the total opposite.  I know that no good thing comes to me except through God Almighty. However, when bad things happen, I stray far. I feel rejected and forgotten and so I keep walking away.

Then the last 48hrs happened. Rejected once again by the world, accepted once again by The Holy Spirit. In my sin, He sent me a Word through a pastor on the other side of the country.

So, I come back to my life motto.

LOVE GOD AND THE REST WILL FOLLOW.