October

So October came and went.  To say that the month flew by is an understatement. Then again maybe its because so much happened in a short period of time that I feel like I missed out on October.

*written oct 25, 2013*
One of my baby cousins visited, the svp got fired, I went bouldering,  we had a charity karaoke event, UCF won a major game against Louisville in college football,  I have had some of the worst headaches but this weekend? My brotherman is coming to see me!!!!! Well annnnnd its the last weekend before I turn 31!

Yea I said it, I am not ashamed.

I feel like I have been broken down and been rebuilt in so many areas in my life in the last yr that I am happy that I made it to 31! Ha!

Praise Jesus for being the one constant through it all.

When I felt like everything was changing and there was no one who would understand,  Jesus showed up.  He sent people to brighten up my days and music to soothe my evenings.  I don't know why I am loved so much but I sure am glad that he brought me into His family.

Carrie Underwood's song Jesus take the wheel just started playing on my iPod.  I can't imagine my life without Jesus at the wheel. A friend while praying over my life once prayed that Jesus would give me a song when I woke up the next morn and God was faithful ina answering.  Its been a request since then on my part and often. Anyone who knows me, knows what music means to me, I am so thankful for music and the emotions it can invoke.

Anywho, life has been tumultuous to say the least but God is constant and so I move ahead to tackle another day. So, help me God, help me as you always have helped.

Love God and the rest will follow!

September...

I woke ip th first day of September with the green day song playing in my head.  "Wake me up when September ends..."

I never understood why they picked this month.  I am told it was some kind of anti war agenda song so I am not sure why I was thinking of it.

Anyway,  here we are looking at October and I don't know how quickly Sept flew by.  Some folks are excited and others not so much.  I am wearing boots today and this is my "plight" for the next few months.

Its the best time of the year!

Falling leaves, hot cocoa, scarfs and boots.

September, for me, was filled with new experiences and old battles.  I went to my first Yankees game and it was "off the hook!" Old battles included the resurrection of something I thought had been put to bed at work.

October has started of with a shocking bang at work and I am not sure how to process it yet but I am not alone in this. My God will no doubt bring me through it.

No doubt.

Love God and the rest will follow.

Story of Grace

We were challenged by the pastor to share our stories of Grace.

As much as I know I am vocal of my daily struggles and thoughts and epiphanies,  I realized I might not have ever shared my story in one sitting.

I was raised in quasi Christian home.  I knew a lot about church and the Bible because I used to be good at memorizing things.  I didn't know why I knew all this or why it was important but it made my parents happy so I did it.

My family went through some trails when I was 7 and my attitude became more about living life in the moment, enjoying  the people around me and making happy memories in any circumstances.  I became obsessed with pictures because it was the only way I could "hold on to moments forever."

I fell in love with falling in love.  The idea intrigued me. So I fell in love but not all childhood love stories end up the way you see it in movies.  Not to sound like a cynic but that is my experience. 

To this day other than my battle of pride, I see myself in a  constant battle with Jesus about the whole idea of love and being in love and what love means in Earthly terms.  The more I try to understand it, the more I get lost in it. I can't grasp God's version of love and He wont give me what I want!

As this year draws to a close, I have spent another year trying to  convince God of what I need and in turn I have not received what I want.  2013 flew by and for all the days that has passed I can say I see God's grace in bringing me through because I refused to walk quietly.  I stomped, I had to be dragged and occasionally carried through 2013. No regrets is how I always wanted to live but this year i have some regrets.

So thankful that His mercies are new every morning.

Love God and (somehow) the rest will follow...